


Talk to me?

by aWriterInValhalla



Series: Punk AU [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-14 20:45:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11215968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aWriterInValhalla/pseuds/aWriterInValhalla
Summary: A Mullette oneshot from an AU created by a friend of mine





	Talk to me?

It had been about 3 weeks since Alexander's funeral. Possibly more, it felt like more.  
It felt like forever.

Lafayette chewed on his lower lip as he thought back to that day, not the funeral, but when Washington had called.

Alex had seemed to be getting better a week before the event. He'd cleaned up his apartment, he ate more, not enough but more, and generally took slightly better care of himself.  
The three of them - Laf, Herc, and Washington - did, however, not let that stop them from regularly checking up on him.  
It was Washington who found Alex that day, it was Washington who told Laf and Herc, and it was Washington who handed them the letters Alex had left behind for them.   
Laf hadn't read the other two letters, they were after all personal, but in the one adressed to him atleast, Alex apologised several times. He kept asking Laf not to blame himself, that there was nothing he could've done and that he just wanted so bad to see John again.

Laf shut the cabinet he was putting the clean dishes back in as he heard Herc entering the apartment.

The two hadn't talked very much these weeks, after John's death, Alex might have been what kept them from falling apart, since they felt they had to keep it together for him.  
But with both John and Alex gone, Laf and Herc were left to fend for themselves in this emotional mindfield.  
Most of their conversations nowadays were arguments, more often than not about ridiculous things, like putting the dishes in the wrong cabinet.  
Though he couldn't recall one day that hadn't ended with at the very least mutters of 'I love you'.

Laf was pulled out of his thoughts by a peck on his cheek.  
"Daydreaming again?" Herc said softly and proceeded to help putting away the remaining dishes.  
Laf hummed.  
"May I ask what about?" Herc followed up.  
Laf knew he was just trying to make conversation and he appreciated it, but it just ticked him off how carefree Herc was, or atleast seemed. It felt so unfair that Herc could move on with his life while he himself couldn't.  
"Same old..." he responded with disinterest. Failing to notice Herc's frown.  
He had no reason to be mad at his significant other, he'd done nothing wrong, everyone deals with loss in their own way.  
Maybe they should just talk about it, but neither was too keen on remembering.  
"You've never told me what the 'same old' is, you know?" Herc said with a hint of sadness in his voice. Laf merely shrugged in response.  
Herc took the hint and finished the chore in silence.  
But after some consideration Laf decided to tell him.  
"I was thinking about John and Alex." he stated. Herc froze.  
"Really?" he said, faking a smile.  
"Yeah... do you ever think of them..?"  
Herc didn't answer. Big surprise; Laf knew what was coming next.  
"The rain is really pouring down today, huh?"   
There we go, changing the subject.  
"What does that have to do with them?" Laf asked, slightly annoyed.  
Herc shrugged.  
That's enough.

Laf slammed a drawer shut.  
"How can you be so damn calm, you don't even seem like you care that our two best friends are gone!   
From the start of it, you've acted like nothing is wrong!"  
The single accusation was enough to push Herc over the line, like pouring water into a glass that's already full.  
"Well, what am I supposed to do?! Just sit and feel sorry?!" he exclaimed.  
Laf clenched his fists.  
"You could atleast try to show that you feel something about it! Whenever I bring it up you just change the subject!"  
"But I don't want to talk about it! Whenever I even think about it I can't help but worry that you're next! Do you know how that feels?!"  
Tears started leaking from Herc's eyes, and Laf stood speechless. But after only seconds of silence Laf spoke again, still upset but a bit calmer.  
"Of course I fucking do, that's why I try to talk about it, I just want you to tell me what's going on in your head, I-" he paused and took a deep breath to stop himself from rambling.  
"I can't help you if you don't talk to me." he finished. Herc looked defeated.  
"Babe, I just want to move on." he said and wiped a tear from his cheek.   
"I don't want to think about it, I just want to forget it, and I- I'm sorry that you can't do that but I don't know what else to do." Herc continued and sat down on one of the kitchen chairs, burying his face in his hands.  
Laf opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it again. He walked over to Herc and crouched infront of him.  
"Mon amour," he started, gently taking Herc's hands in his own.  
"I don't want this to tear us apart."  
Herc met his gaze.  
He said nothing but pulled Laf into a tight hug.  
"I love you."  
"I love you too."


End file.
